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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27080896">Never Leave You Wanting</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/saturni_stellis/pseuds/saturni_stellis'>saturni_stellis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>South Park RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5 Times, But also, First Time, Happy Ending, Jealousy, M/M, References to Depression, References to Drugs, References to Suicide, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sharing a Bed, Unresolved Sexual Tension</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-09 01:55:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,497</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27080896</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/saturni_stellis/pseuds/saturni_stellis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It was just a kiss, right? What harm could it do? But the moment Matt's lips touched Trey's again, and that soft tongue slipped into his mouth, he knew it was never just going to be a kiss.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Trey Parker/Matt Stone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Never Leave You Wanting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>1. Two Guys Share a Bed</p><p>The worst thing about sharing a bed with Trey wasn't the added body heat, wasn't the snoring or even the farting, but Trey's complete disregard and lack of personal space. The shared futon on their friend's floor had been kindly donated to them as they tried to get their feet on the ground in this hellhole town they called Hollywood...and as grateful as Matt was, he found himself wondering more and more if maybe he shouldn't just cave in for a “proper” job and get himself a flat. At least then he'd be able to stretch his legs in bed without his feet sticking out the end, being woken by the cat clawing at his toes.</p><p>But for now, that was the least of his worries, as Trey's elbow jabbed into his ribcage and he groaned, merely making Trey stir in his sleep.</p><p>“Asshole...” Matt muttered under his breath. He thought about getting up and smoking a big fat joint in the backyard, maybe then he'd just crash out and wouldn't care where Trey's limbs ended up. The idea was too inviting not to give it a shot, so he threw the sheet off and walked through the small lobby into the kitchen, where his stash lay open next to a half empty pack of now very warm beer.</p><p>Matt smoked the joint on the chair swing out on the deck, head leant back as he stared up at the stars in the sky, letting the smoke fill his lungs and feeling his brain turn into a foggy cloud of nothingness. Once he was finished, he wondered if maybe he'd put too much in. His body felt so heavy he thought he might not be able to lift himself up and walk back to bed.</p><p>In a daze, somehow he ended up back on the floor next to Trey, pulling the sheet up above his chin. His head was spinning as he lay on his back, feeling the body next to him roll over.</p><p>“Where'd you sneak off to?” Trey's sleepy voice said into his neck.</p><p>Matt wiped a hand over his face, his skin tingling all over. He definitely put too much in.</p><p>“Smoked a joint,” he replied, voice slurring as his brain tried to keep up with his mouth.</p><p>“Oh shit, I can tell! You fucking reek, dude.”</p><p>Matt started laughing, rolling onto his side as the hair he was letting grow out tickled Trey in the face and he blew at it from behind him.</p><p>“Yeah, well if you weren't such a pain in the ass to share a bed with then I wouldn't have to. Now shut up and let me sleep.”</p><p>“Me!?” Trey exclaimed, voice several pitches higher than it's normal tone. “You're the pain in the ass. Do you have any idea how many times I wake up with your hair in my mouth or your ass digging into my back?”</p><p>Matt rolled back round so he could face Trey as they lay side by side. “Don't pretend you don't love my sweet ass all over you.” He pinched Trey's nipple as the other man slapped his wrist away. Despite his body feeling like it was being weighed down by several anchors, Matt found the strength to twist his wrist out of Trey's grip and playfully punched him in the side.</p><p>Trey was obviously still tired as he tried to get the upper hand on their hap hazard play-fight, letting Matt hold him down as he was pushed on to his back.</p><p>“Get off me, jackass!” Trey groaned as Matt let his whole bodyweight go and he lay on top of Trey, laughing into the crook of his shoulder.</p><p>“Make me, bitch.” Matt said, and before he knew it, Trey's hips jerked up with all the force he could muster, throwing Matt off him as they both fell off the futon and thudded onto the floor. With Trey in just a pair of boxer shorts, there wasn't much to grip onto so in a phase of complete high absurdity, Matt took the oppurtunity of Trey's wrist within reach of his mouth and leant forward, biting down on his skin.</p><p>“Ow fuck!” Trey shouted pulling back sharply. “Dude, what the fuck!”</p><p>“Don't be such a pussy, it wasn't that hard.”</p><p>“You fucking bit me, man!”</p><p>“Lemme see.”</p><p>Matt tugged Trey's hand forward, bringing it close to his face and squinted in the darkness. He wasn't fooling anyone, he couldn't see shit. He didn't even have his glasses on. He blinked several times and tried to make anything out on Trey's skin, but it was all just a blur. In a moment of madness, he pulled Trey's wrist towards his mouth and gently pressed his lips against where his teeth had just been. If he wasn't high as a kite he would've sworn he heard Trey gasp.</p><p>After what felt like hours, but in reality had only been a few seconds, Matt's lips pulled back, and he was suddenly very aware of their predicament. Trey was straddling his lap, knees either side of his waist as he breathed heavily above him. Matt's thumb stroked Trey's palm as his hand kept hold of his wrist. Trey didn't move a muscle.</p><p>For fear of making the situation even more awkward than it already was, Matt didn't move either, but his dick was hardening in his shorts, and that, he blamed entirely on the weed.</p><p>The first move was Trey's, fingers flexing in Matt's grip as they brushed against his mouth. The next was Matt tugging Trey forward so their lips pressed against each other, and before they knew it they were making out on the floor next to the futon. Matt's hands crept into Trey's hair, twisting and turning and pulling at it like they were still fighting, but instead, Trey reacted by pushing his hips forward, forcing Matt to gasp for real against his open mouth.</p><p>He knew this was wrong. He knew this could be the end of their friendship and above all else he knew he wasn't gay. But despite all the logical thoughts that would've stopped a sober Matt from doing this, he knew in that moment that he wanted nothing more than Trey's tongue in his mouth and his dick in his hand.</p><p>After all, Trey wasn't high. He hadn't even gotten that drunk before they went to bed. So if he was stone cold sober, surely he wanted this too? Matt found the strength to roll them back up onto the futon, their lips not parting for one second. Trey was on his back, legs spread as Matt nestled between his thighs, panting as he pushed his tongue past Trey's lips.</p><p>They only stopped to catch their breath, Matt's nose pressing against Trey's as he pushed his body down, grinding against Trey as he took in a sharp breath, feeling the full extent of what was under Matt's shorts.</p><p>As though it was the next natural move, Matt leant back and slipped his fingers under the waist band of Trey's boxers.</p><p>“Wait..!” Trey said suddenly, breaking Matt out of his daze. He froze, his hands stopping at Trey's waist. “What...are you gonna do?” He was whispering and Matt was sure he'd never heard his friend sound so shy. If he could see properly he was almost certain Trey's face would be flushed red.</p><p>“I don't know, fuck you I guess.” Matt said, the words sounding utterly obscene coming out of his mouth. It wasn't the fact that he was saying them, it was that he was saying them to Trey. And hell, did he even know how to fuck a guy?</p><p>Trey pulled Matt's hands off him, and if it was anyone else in the world, any other girl, Matt would've been mortified, but it was his best friend. He knew it was just Trey being Trey.</p><p>“You don't want me to?” Matt asked quietly.</p><p>Trey shuffled underneath him, pulling himself away from where his legs were spread open between Matt's waist. As he moved towards his side of the futon and pulled the sheet towards him, Matt couldn't help but think he looked like a helpless little virgin. To his own disgust, it made him want Trey more.</p><p>Trey lay back down against the pillows and looked up at Matt. “I don't know.” he said in barely a whisper.</p><p>The moment was already kind of killed, and Matt wasn't about to try and persuade his best friend to let him fuck him here on their friends disgusting futon bed, in their three week old sheets that were stained with beer and spaghetti and cigarette burns. It didn't matter that Matt was still raging hard, that he was already having thoughts about doing stuff with a guy he'd never even dreamed of doing with another guy before.</p><p>“'S okay...” Matt said, shuffling onto his back and grabbing his half of the sheet.</p><p>After a few seconds of silence, Trey turned into him, curling up against his body and bringing his head to nestle against Matt's neck. It was the gayest thing ever, but Matt's arm snaked around Trey's back and pulled him closer.</p><p>“You want me to jerk you off?” Trey said, lips against Matt's ear. His cock twitched under his shorts, and as though telling it to behave, Matt pushed against it with the heel of his palm. The invitation for a hand job really was very welcome, but Matt didn't fancy the aftermath he may have to deal with the next morning.</p><p>“No, it's alright. I'm probably too high to come anyway.”</p><p>He felt Trey nod against him as his arm came round to hug his waist.</p><p>“Will you kiss me again?”</p><p>Matt's head turned to look at Trey, and somewhere in the blur of the darkness and his poor vision, he focused on Trey's blue eyes staring up at him.</p><p>It was just a kiss, right? What harm could it do?</p><p>But the moment Matt's lips touched Trey's again, and that soft tongue slipped into his mouth, he knew it was <em>never</em> just going to be a kiss.</p><p>After a few seconds Trey was fast asleep and Matt's heart was pounding in his chest.</p><p> </p><p>2. The Break-Up/Down\</p><p> </p><p>Trey hadn't moved from the sofa in over five hours. Aside from leaning down to pick up the carton of OJ to take the occasional swig, or leaning forward to point the remote at the TV, he'd stayed curled up in the same position- knees under his chin, head propped up on the cushion, five o'clock shadow a sharp contrast to his recently bleached blonde hair.</p><p>As Matt sauntered into the room, kicking empty boxes of pizza and soda cans in his path, he came to stand in front of the T.V, staring down at his friend.</p><p>“Dude, what the hell, you're still here? You said you were going to get groceries like three hours ago.”</p><p>Trey just shrugged, ignoring him as he tried to see the screen between Matt's legs. Frustrated, Matt grabbed the remote out of his hand and switched the set off. When he turned to look back at Trey, he'd turned on the sofa, back facing Matt.</p><p>“Will you please get up? At least take a fucking shower or something. Your fat ass is making a groove in the couch.”</p><p>“Fuck you.” Trey whined, his voice muffled by the cushions.</p><p>“Alright, fine.” Matt snapped, snatching his keys off the coffee table. He began to walk back across the room, the trail of trash crunching under his feet. “You wanna lie here all day like a baby, sulking about some no good bit of pussy you may, or may not have had the privilege of getting, then fine. But you can sulk on your own.”</p><p>When Matt slammed the front door behind him he immediately he regretted it. He thought about turning back around and running over to Trey, dragging him off the couch and pulling him into a hug, telling him he didn't mean it. That he just wanted Trey to stop being so useless, to snap back into reality. But he knew that's exactly what Trey wanted, and he wasn't going to cave into him. Not again, not this time.</p><p>Matt had gone through enough of Trey's “break-ups” to know this was nothing more than a forty-eight hour phase. And this one had hardly even constituted a girlfriend. There'd been one, maybe two dates? Matt never understood how Trey managed to get so invested so quickly. Sometimes it was sickening for Matt to watch, to see him fall head over heels with whoever showed him a little bit more than the normal level of affection, only for his heart to always break right in front of his face.</p><p>On more than one occasion, Matt had wanted to go up to some of these girls and grab them by the shoulders, shake them and yell in their faces to just back off. And God, didn't that make him sound like a jerk? Trey wasn't his. He never had been.</p><p>Matt hated the way he felt when Trey was like this. Because it wasn't jealousy, he told himself it couldn't be that. It was something more. Something deeper, but it bubbled in his gut like a bad stomach ache. Something that felt like, <em>I could do better. I'd treat you better</em>.</p><p>He was sitting in the drivers seat of the car but he hadn't moved. It had been about ten minutes since he left the house and the keys still weren't in the ignition. Something told him he wasn't going anywhere. After another ten minutes or so, Matt sighed and got out of the car. He didn't fancy finding his friend dead on the living room floor because he'd snorted too much coke or drowned himself in vodka. Deep down, Matt knew Trey wasn't that stupid, but he wasn't taking any chances.</p><p>As he predicted, Trey was still on the couch, but now he was sitting up and he looked up at Matt as he re-entered the room.</p><p>“Have you come back to apologise?”</p><p>“No.” Matt said as he threw his keys down on the coffee table, the thud making Trey wince.</p><p>Matt watched as Trey looked away from him, lip wobbling and his eyes brimming with tears.</p><p>“Dude, why are you so upset?”</p><p>Trey shrugged again as the tears rolled down his cheeks. “I don't know I just am, okay!?”</p><p>Matt let out a frustrated breath and walked forward to slump down on to the sofa next to him.</p><p>“I didn't even like her.” Trey said after a while, sniffling as he rubbed his sleeve across his nose. “I'm not upset about her, I can't even remember what she looks like.”</p><p>Matt let out a small laugh as Trey choked out one with him that quickly turned into another sob. Outstretching his arm tentatively, Matt's fingers brushed the back of Trey's neck. As soon as the touch registered, Trey's whole body turned into Matt's and before he knew it, Matt was cradling Trey in his arms as he cried against his chest.</p><p>“I'm such a loser!” Trey whined against his chest, and Matt stroked his hand into the back of his hair.</p><p>“Yeah, you are...” Matt teased as Trey tightened his arms around his waist. “But it's okay.”</p><p>When Trey pulled back, Matt brought his hands up to his face, wiping his thumbs through the tears on his cheeks. Eyes blown wide and red, glistening with tears, Trey looked like a vulnerable grade schooler who'd just had his lunch money stolen. Matt drank him up like this, his neck feeling hot under his collar at the guilt of wanting to kiss him so bad when he was in this state.</p><p>It was like Trey read his mind, eyes dropping to fix on Matt's lips. He was the first to lean forward, going to press their mouths together but before they could touch, Matt turned his head at the last second.</p><p>Trey bit his lip letting out another small sob. “I'm sorry...” his breaths were coming out hard and quick, shaking with every word.</p><p>“Trey don't-... stop it...” Matt pulled him back against his chest. Did Trey really not get it? He wanted to do more than kiss him. He wanted to give Trey everything he knew he was missing. He wanted to fuck him so good Trey would never want to fuck another person ever again, but how could he admit that when Trey was breaking down against him like this? Deep down, Matt knew it wasn't about the girl. It was never just about 'the girl'. Trey was just that kinda guy. He didn't need a trigger to set him into a spiral of self-hatred and depression. A girl leaving him out to dry was just a good excuse for it. Trey didn't need the excuse for his behaviour, but Matt did. Because he couldn't bear the fact that his friend just felt like shit sometimes. There was nothing he could do to pull him out of it, but as long as he was the one who was there to pick up the pieces – that's all that mattered to him.</p><p>“I'm an asshole.” Matt said out loud, the words in his head coming out of his mouth.</p><p>“Why?” Trey said, tears and snot soaking through Matt's shirt as his breathing finally steadied. Trey pulled back to look up at him when Matt didn't answer and Matt suddenly found that he was the one whose breaths were now coming out too quickly.</p><p>This time he couldn't resist and fuck it, guilt be damned - he pulled Trey's face towards his by the back of his head and let their lips touch, placing the softest kiss on his mouth that he could possibly muster.</p><p>Like a switch being flicked, Trey completely relaxed against him, shuffling forward on the couch and not stopping until he was practically sitting on Matt's lap.</p><p>His whole body felt like it was on fire, skin prickling under the heat of Trey's tongue swiping against his bottom lip and Trey's body weighing down on his own. He pulled Trey's hips forward, feeling his body shudder against him as their kiss deepened.</p><p>The little ounce of self-control that remained within Matt, stopped him from pushing Trey forward onto the floor. He pulled back slowly, feeling their lips part as Trey's fingers toyed with the collar of his shirt.</p><p>“Hey,” Trey said softly, his voice almost returning to normal. “You remember that night on Neil's floor?”</p><p>Matt remembered it exactly and would never forget it for as long as he lived, despite the fact that they'd never spoken of it up until this very moment. He nodded, his throat feeling too tight to talk.</p><p>“I wish you had. You know...fucked me.”</p><p>Matt leant his head against the back of the sofa, nodding again as he croaked a small “Yeah, me too.”</p><p>Trey smiled, the first smile Matt had seen in a few days, and that was almost good enough for him.</p><p> </p><p>3. Hot Shots</p><p> </p><p>They made a movie. Well, they didn't <em>make</em> the movie – but they were in the movie and that was good enough for anyone from Denver to think they were now big Hollywood hot shots. Most of their friends from College had left L.A after a few years of trying and failing (and then trying and failing again), so the visit from them was a refreshing sort of humbling experience, that maybe they were both craving at this point. A break away from the culture of fame and fortune that was still well beyond their grasp was extremely welcome.</p><p>The guys all laughed and teased Trey about his new blonde hair, but Matt got more stick for his velvet green shirt and the fact that he could finally afford a new pair of glasses. Just being with old friends and on familiar ground had the two of them more comfortable than they'd felt in a long time – so they ended up in some cheesy bar downtown that played hair metal and served sickly sweet cocktails. The alcohol was coming in thicker and faster than either of them could handle. The pay-check for BASEketball had come through, so they were showing off. To all the guys who were still busting their asses in their part time jobs back in Colorado, the 'successful' pair from College might as well have had their names engraved on the Hollywood walk of fame as far as their ex-classmates were concerned.</p><p>But none of them were interested in any of that now, least of all Trey, who was back in his best of spirits after months of exhaustion. Half way through the night he'd taken hold of Matt's hand and had barely let go of it, like it was a comfort blanket amongst all the craziness. None of their friends even noticed and if they did, they didn't care. Heck, most of them had even been rooting for them since they met in film school all those years ago.</p><p>The bar they were in was called <em>Hawaiian Nites</em>. The ceilings were decorated with coconuts and faux palm leaves, paper lanterns hanging down from the foliage which flashed colourful lighting, illuminating the place like some garish camp nightmare. Matt was laughing about some memory they were all sharing of one of their College tutors, and somewhere in-between the story, his eyes caught Trey across the room, propped up at the bar, talking to some guy who wasn't part of their group. For a while he thought nothing of it, just Trey talking the ear off of some poor sucker who'd been dragged into his new-found drunken confidence. It wasn't until he saw this guy's hand placed on Trey's waist, thumb disappearing under the hem of his shirt, that the conversation happening beside him seemed to fade away.</p><p>Matt tried to ignore it. Trey was entitled to do whatever and speak to whoever the hell he wanted to do. But the sight kept pulling him in, as though his eyes were a magnet that was being tugged towards them. Towards that hand. The hand that was now snaked even further round Trey's waist, fingers delicately toying at the waistline of his pants.</p><p>Trey was laughing. A lot. And Matt didn't mind seeing him laugh, in fact he revelled in it, but he preferred it when it was him that was forcing it out him. When Trey's hand came round to meet the one at his waist, Matt found himself momentarily relieved. Trey was obviously going to push it away, politely decline whatever this tool was offering him. But, to his ever growing horror, it was quite the opposite and their fingers intwined. Slowly, very slowly, like the world was suddenly coming to a halt, Matt's eyes travelled upwards to see the man's face buried in Trey's neck, whispering something against his skin that was forcing a shudder out of Trey's body, his hips jerking forward.</p><p>There was a loud eruption of laughter that forced Matt out of his voyeurism, turning his head back round to his group, smiling even though he hadn't been paying attention to whatever it was they were laughing at. No one seemed to notice that Trey wasn't with them anymore. Matt swallowed, trying very hard to involve himself again, trying not to look behind him. Any minute now, he knew, <i>he hoped</i>, he'd feel that hand on his shoulder, and Trey's body would be slotting in to sit next to his, their hands entwining under the table.</p><p>But the moment never came.</p><p>Eventually, Matt could resist it no more, and he spun his body round. Trey had disappeared – the other guy too. His blood boiled.</p><p>“Let's get some shots.” he announced.</p><p>“Dude, more!?”</p><p>Matt stood. He wanted to get so obliterated he never had to see that image again. The image that was now seared into his brain of some big sweaty guy with his hands all over Trey. If it meant drinking himself into oblivion, then so be it.</p><p> </p><p>4. Germany</p><p> </p><p>The hotel was small and cramped, and Matt had already made the decision to call their producer as soon as they got to the room to demand relocation. But the flight had been long and Trey was already whinging about having to go to the stupid red carpet event that they'd been flown out here for in the first place, so all he wanted to do right now was lay horizontal for several hours and just not move.</p><p>The room was unexpectedly impressive and although there was only one double bed, the concierge had assured them that the additional couch pulled out into another bed 'should they require it'. All they could do was raise their eyebrows at the slightly underhand comment from the plump German man behind the desk, but Trey gave Matt a sharp look that told him not to argue about it now.</p><p>As soon as Matt had tipped the lobby boy, Trey went straight into the bathroom. “I'm gonna have a shower.” he mumbled before closing the door.</p><p>Matt didn't even bother to try and ask him if he could go first, seeing as Trey usually took forever, but instead he decided it would be nice to have some peace and quiet. He collapsed onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling as he listened to the sound of the shower running in the adjacent en-suite bathroom.</p><p>Before Trey emerged, Matt must've dozed off because his eyes opened to the sound of Trey rummaging through a bag at the end of the bed.</p><p>“Shit, I think left my watch at home.”</p><p>Matt adjusted his glasses and rubbed his face with both his hands, mouth dry and feeling more tired than he had before. “You didn't have it on the plane?” he said through a yawn.</p><p>“No, I think I left it on my nightstand. Dammit. Right so it's your job to tell us when we've been there for an hour, then we leave right?”</p><p>“Yeah, sure...” Matt said, not really listening. He stared at Trey's naked back as he sat hunched over the edge of the bed, towel loosely hanging off his waist. His hair was still dripping wet, light brown strands sending water droplets down his neck and in between his shoulder blades.</p><p>The intoxicating smell of powerfully sweet shampoo and soap suds filled Matt's nose as he watched a particular drop of water slide all the way down Trey's spine and dangerously close to the towel's edge. The rumble that surfaced in his stomach was definitely because he'd hardly eaten any of the plane food and not because he was thinking about licking that drop of water off Trey's skin.</p><p>“I'm just texting Anne, to let her know we're here.” Trey said from the end of the bed as Matt's eyes fixated on more of the water running down his back.</p><p>“Uh huh...”</p><p>Matt's mind had wondered else where. He was preoccupied by the thought of his thirsty tongue lapping up the small pool of water that had now gathered at the bottom of Trey's back. In his sleepy induced over-active imagination, he watched over Trey's shoulder as his own fingers untied the towel, nose pressing against Trey's skin as he smelt the freshly washed skin. His face headed lower and lower until he was pulling Trey's waist up against his mouth, dipping his tongue between his ass, and suckling out whatever remained of that warm soapy water...</p><p>“I said are you getting in the shower or what?”</p><p>Matt blinked up at Trey who was now staring at him over his shoulder. He sat up so fast his head spun, and he ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it quickly as he cleared his throat.</p><p>“Yeah, I'm getting in now.” Matt grumbled as he got off the bed and quickly went into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. Pressing his head against the door, he squeezed the bulge in his pants as if daring it to behave, closing his eyes tightly. He mouthed a small “fuck,” up at the ceiling, trying to shake himself out of of it.</p><p>By the time he got under the stream of hot water, cock still hard and mind pre-occupied with thoughts of his tongue in Trey's ass, he found he had never thought of eating any pussy as graphically as he was thinking about eating Trey out right now. The thought of sucking ass had never even crossed Matt's mind before. Wanting to fuck a guy was one thing but this!? This was probably the gayest thing he could possibly think of.</p><p>But it didn't stop him from jerking off so hard his knees almost buckled under him, and he came against the shower tiles, having to wipe them down with the hotel flannel.</p><p>When he emerged from the bathroom, Trey was still sat on the edge of the bed in his towel, his eyes fixated on the TV.</p><p>“Hey dude look,” Trey said, smiling widely at the television.</p><p>Matt looked over at the television screen as the familiar face of Mr Garrison greeted him. “Ah come on, I don't want to see this!”</p><p>“Wait wait wait, Cartman's about to say bloody vaginal belch in German!”</p><p>When the words came out through the television screen they both erupted into laughter.</p><p>It was only when they got to the end of the episode, still laughing and commenting on how each character sounded more absurd than the last one, did Matt realise how distracted they'd become.</p><p>“Oh shit, come on man, we gotta get dressed.”</p><p>After some back and forthing about how they could possibly get out of it, Trey eventually resigned to the fact that he wasn't getting out of it and stood up. As he came up close behind Matt, he leant up and sniffed his neck, forcing Matt to give him a small frown over his shoulder.</p><p>“That hotel soap makes you smell like a chick.”</p><p>“You too, asshole.” Matt teased. “The only difference is it suits you.”</p><p>After a few seconds he realised Trey hadn't moved so Matt turned to face him. As a test, he slipped his hand round Trey's waist, slipping two of his fingers in the space between the towel and the dimples in his back to see if any of the water from his earlier ogling remained. The skin was dry but soft, and the towel loosened a little as he tugged at it, threatening to pull it off completely. Trey let out a small giggle, before turning his mouth up into a pout.</p><p>Feeling his dick twitch again under his towel when he saw Trey's eyes fixate on his lips, Matt leaned forward, their mouths almost touching before the hotel room phone rang, ripping them out of the moment. Matt cursed under his breath as Trey went over to fetch it.</p><p>It was the concierge telling them the car would be there to collect them in thirty minutes.</p><p>“Ok, let's get dressed.”</p><p> </p><p>5. Mini-disc</p><p> </p><p>Trey's voice quivered with every word, sometimes a whisper before breaking into a near on scream that had Matt pulling the phone away from his ear.</p><p>“Calm down, it has to be here somewhere. You probably shoved it in a drawer or something and it's buried under a load of your crap.”</p><p>Propping the phone between his shoulder and his ear, Matt pulled open Trey's drawers one by one, pushing clothes, notebooks and an array of used batteries and pens aside, looking for the mini disc that had the music they needed in order to finish off the soundtrack for the South Park movie they were so close to completing.</p><p>“It's gotta be there somewhere, I know I never took it out of the house. Shit. SHIT!”</p><p>Matt could hear some other people talking to Trey on the other end of the line. He was at the studio, the deadline to submit the finishing touches was tomorrow, and it was already 4 o'clock in the afternoon. Matt knew it would be a long night.</p><p>“Ok look, I'm gonna hang up and find it. I know it'll be here. I won't leave the house until I have it, alright?”</p><p>Trey's voice dropped into a hush again as he said, “Dude, if we have do all that shit from scratch, I actually think I might kill myself tonight.”</p><p>Somehow Matt didn't doubt that. He wondered if it might be a good idea to hide Trey's gun just incase. He re-assured him again, before hanging up and throwing his phone onto Trey's unmade bed, pulling out his sock drawer as far as it would go. Once he'd rummaged through every drawer, every cupboard corner, he turned to Trey's nightstand.</p><p>There was something about going through his drawers whilst Trey wasn't there that didn't sit quite right with him, but at this moment in time, all that mattered was that god damn mini-disk. And so as he ruffled through twenty dollar bills, prozac pills and unused condoms, there was little time to worry about invading his privacy. It's not like they hid much from each other anyway.</p><p>As he pulled open the last of the three drawers, he tugged at the rolled up scarf and as it unravelled, out fell something heavy and plastic as it thudded onto the carpet. For a while Matt's eyes fixated on the object, shining against the cream floor. For some reason, finding a purple dildo amongst Trey's things should've been the least surprising object in his possession, but it sent a jolt through Matt's stomach none the less. It wasn't like he would've been using it on any chicks, Trey never brought girls back to the house – so it only could've been used for one thing and one thing only, and that was something Matt really didn't have time to think about right now.</p><p>Swallowing down the lump in his throat, he picked up the silicone toy and rolled it back up in the scarf, ignoring the small tube of lube that accompanied it in the drawer and shoved it back in there. No sign of the mini disk.</p><p>After about twenty minutes of digging and turning Trey's house almost upside down, Matt found the mini disk down the side of his couch. Probably fallen out of the fat ass' pocket when he'd crashed out one night after a late session at the studio. He almost ran back into the bedroom grabbing his phone and dialling Trey's number.</p><p>“I've got it.”</p><p>“Oh God. Do you know how much I love you right now? I love you dude, I fucking love you. Now get over here and pick me up some donuts on the way.” There was some laughter on the other end of the line, followed by cheers as Trey told them Matt had it.</p><p>When Matt hung up he paused, his eyes catching sight of the bottom drawer in Trey's nightstand again. He really didn't have time to think about this.</p><p>*</p><p>Matt arrived at the studio half an hour later, with a box of twelve Dunkin' Donuts and four cups of coffee. He handed them out to the team who'd been working their asses off and had more than likely been babysitting Trey for the last three and a half hours. Trey took the box of donuts from Matt, like he'd just been handed a platter of solid gold.</p><p>“Don't eat them all, they're for everyone.”</p><p>Trey rolled his eyes, his mouth already full and covered in powdered sugar.</p><p>After everyone dissipated and Matt handed the mini disk over to the sound engineer, he collapsed into the chair next to Trey who was already on his third donut. He watched Trey eating messily, getting sticky jam all over his fingers.</p><p>“Your room's a mess.” Matt said apologetically as Trey shrugged.</p><p>“It's okay..” Trey mumbled through a mouthful of dough and sugar.</p><p>Fidgeting in his chair Matt looked over at the clock. Now alone, the only sound filling the room was the air con unit and Trey eating. Turning his head to look back at him, Matt slumped further in his chair and watched Trey suck his fingers clean.</p><p>“I found something in your drawer.” Matt said, voice low. No one could hear them when they were locked up in the sound booth, but he was cautious regardless.</p><p>“Oh yeah.” Trey said, seemingly uninterested.</p><p>Matt chewed his bottom lip. Was it really fair for him to bring it up? Curiosity tugged at him, the uncontrollable pull that led his mind to wonder what Trey did with that thing. If he fucked himself with it did he think of anyone when he was doing it? Did he just do it to get off, for that added bit of excitement? Did he do it because deep down he wanted a guy to be doing it to him, and if it wasn't just any guy then which one was it? Matt knew the questions in his head were pointless when all he wanted to know was, is it me?</p><p>“Well?” Trey said after a few moments of silence, staring back at him. “Are you gonna let me in on the secret?”</p><p>He couldn't do it. What if Trey flipped out, or more likely crawled into a ball of embarrassment. It wasn't the best thing to do when they had less than sixteen hours to finish a movie.</p><p>“It was uh, that old Marilyn Manson record you'd been looking for for ages, remember? It was at the back of your sock drawer.”</p><p>Trey frowned. “Really? I thought I lost that years back.” Obviously not all that interested, he turned back to the donuts and picked up a glazed ring.</p><p>“Yeah it was...buried in there.” Matt stood up and stretched, trying to ignore the little patch of powdered sugar that still resided on the side of Trey's mouth, the urge to lick it off making his neck flush hot. “I'm gonna step outside for a smoke...” he said and as he passed Trey he squeezed his shoulder, adding “don't eat them all.”</p><p> </p><p>+1 Never Leave Me Wanting</p><p> </p><p>They rarely relaxed. The word relax hardly even came up in their vocabulary. But today was one of those very rare days. One of those days when they genuinely had nothing to do. No phone calls, no studio exec meetings, no episodes to make. They didn't even need to shop for beer. The fridge was full, the sun was shining, and they'd just been told how much Bigger Longer and Uncut had made at the box office for the opening weekend. Instead of opting for a night out and blowing several thousand dollars on drink and drugs and strippers, they decided to do what they've wanted to do for the past three years... <em>sweet fuck all</em>.</p><p>Matt lay on his back at the edge of the pool, one leg swinging in the water as he smoked and listened to Trey muttering under his breath as he played his Gameboy at the other side of the pool. The little sounds of the electronic game emanated across the water and it was all Matt could hear above the swishing water and the sound of his own cigarette.</p><p>After a few minutes, Trey had abandoned the game and swam over to where Matt was laying on the edge. Turning his head, Matt dropped his chin to look at Trey over his sunglasses. His brown hair stuck up in odd places, dripping wet but drying quickly under the hot L.A sun. He blinked water out of his dark eyelashes as he watched Matt smoke, holding onto the ledge to keep his head above the water.</p><p>“You know what you look like right now?” Trey said, wiping water from his mouth as he spoke. Matt waited. “Like one of those Hollywood superstar fags we used to try and fart on.”</p><p>Matt held back his laugh. “Are you trying to warn me?”</p><p>Trey grinned at him. “Nah, I can't be bothered to pull myself out of the pool.”</p><p>Matt laughed as Trey tugged at his leg that was halfway in the water. “Get in here so I can fart on you instead.”</p><p>“Stop it, jackass!” Matt said as he almost lost his balance, one arm reaching to grab the leg of the closest chair. But Trey didn't let up and tugged Matt harder, his feet coming to press against the pool wall to give himself the advantage.</p><p>Matt had just about enough time to throw his half smoked cigarette aside before being submerged in the water against his own will. As he resurfaced he tried to push Trey under the water by his shoulders, but he just laughed and ducked away from his grasp. Matt grabbed Trey by the waist and knocking his foot out from under him with his own, pulling them both under together.</p><p>When they came back up, Matt had Trey pressed up against the tiles as he panted and rubbed his eyes.</p><p>“Ok you win, asshole.” Trey giggled.</p><p>Hands still on his waist, Matt brought himself forward to press against him. His sunglasses had fallen off somewhere during the water fight so he squinted in the sunlight. His eyes scanned Trey's face as they came to rest on his lips, fixating there for a fraction too long. To avoid kicking his legs to keep him afloat, Matt's hands came up to grip the ledge either side of Trey's face. Like it was the most natural thing to do, Trey's arms came round to rest on Matt's shoulders, bringing his hands together behind Matt's neck.</p><p>Matt let out a small breath as he smiled, pressing Trey harder against the side of the pool. Before he knew it, Trey's hands were sneaking up into the wet curls at the back of his head and pulling it towards him.</p><p>Their lips met like it was something they did every day, but Matt couldn't remember the last time they kissed, and the sudden hunger he had for Trey's lips came to surface as he kissed him deeper, pushing his tongue forward and sucking his wet lips. Their chests pressed against one another, Trey leaned his head back as Matt pushed his tongue further into his mouth. It wasn't the first time they'd done this- kissed this deep- this desperate, but this time if felt different. It felt dangerous. They both knew they'd have no distractions. No one was going to call, or knock on the door. They had no where to be and no where to go. Nothing to stop them from going as far as they wanted to...</p><p>One of Matt's hands gripped the side of Trey's face as their mouths opened and closed around each others tongues, the wet sound of their kissing mixing with the water between their bodies. Matt's mouth led a trail along Trey's jaw, before going to work at his neck, sucking and biting all along the length of it, feeling Trey lean to the side to let him. It took Matt a few seconds to realise Trey's legs were now wrapped around his waist under the water. He pushed forward, feeling their groins collide as the water flowed over the edge of the pool.</p><p>Matt pulled Trey's mouth onto his again as they kissed deeper, Trey clutching at his hair, twisting it into his fists as he breathed in heavily through his nose, hissing as Matt sucked and chewed at his bottom lip.</p><p>Kiss coming to a halt, lips pressed against each other, Trey spoke. “This is getting me kinda horny, dude.”</p><p>Matt raised an eyebrow as he pushed his hips forward a little once again. “Yeah, no shit.”</p><p>Cheeks flushed red, Matt knew it wasn't sun burn as he saw Trey smile. His fingers kneaded into the back of Matt's scalp and he had to try hard not to roll his head back and moan against it.</p><p>“You know all those times...” Trey whispered against Matt's mouth, “Those times we came really close and never did.”</p><p>Matt swallowed, his stomach tying in knots. He knew exactly what Trey was talking about, but it was the first time they'd actually put their actions into words. Small stolen moments that happened once or twice a year... late night kisses, both raging hard but never saying a word. Neither of them knew what it meant.</p><p>“Yeah...” Matt croaked, his throat dry.</p><p>“And I never explicitly asked you.”</p><p>Matt waited. He waited for what felt like an eternity. But he would've waited for the pool water to evaporate around them if it meant hearing what he'd always wanted to hear.</p><p>“Well I'm asking you now, man.”</p><p>Feeling his lips curl into a smile, Matt shifted his bodyweight forward, stroking a thumb over Trey's cheek. And God, for the first time he realised how desperate he looked. “Asking me what?”</p><p>“Please don't make me say it.” Trey said, his face now redder than Matt had ever seen it.</p><p>As painful as it felt to pull away, Matt did, and threw Trey a small smirk over his shoulder. He pulled himself up out of the water as Trey stared at him incredulously. “How am I supposed to know if you don't say it?” he shrugged. Before he got up, he leant down at placed a kiss on Trey's forehead.</p><p>“You're an asshole Matt!” Trey shouted after him as Matt giggled and made his way into the house.</p><p>*</p><p>They spent the rest of the afternoon intermittently playing Nintendo, eating potato chips, drinking beer, and making out in the pool...against the kitchen counter... or on the couch.</p><p>By the time it was 10 o'clock, they were in dry clothes on the floor of Trey's front room, kissing and panting and tugging at each other's t-shirts. Trey pulled Matt on top of him, legs spreading as Matt's hips ground down between his thighs.</p><p>Matt felt Trey shudder beneath him as he whimpered a weak “Oh God,” against his mouth.</p><p>Propping himself up on his elbows, Matt's hand came to rest against the side of Trey's face again. Turning into it, Trey pulled Matt's thumb into his mouth, sucking on it as Matt's eyes widened and he felt his whole world spin.</p><p>“<em>Fuck</em>...” he breathed as he pushed his thumb further into Trey's mouth, sliding it out and rubbing it over the shape of his lips.</p><p>“You know what I want.” Trey said, his eyes closed, as if the thought of saying it whilst he looked at Matt was unbearable.</p><p>“Yeah I know.” Matt said, giving in. He pulled his thumb away and leant down to kiss him again. “But I'm not gonna fuck you on the floor, so let's go to bed.”</p><p>Trey's eyes almost rolled back in his head at just hearing it, and like a shot they were both up on their feet making their way into the bedroom and into a bed that they'd both slept in together plenty of times, falling asleep against each other; unspoken words between them stopping them from what they were about to do. Matt had to try and steady his breathing, stop himself from getting too carried away. He didn't wanna finish before it even started. He'd thought about doing this so many times, for so very long.</p><p>Trey wasn't all that different to a girl when Matt really thought about it. When they kissed, Matt still had to lean down. When he pushed him against the bedroom door, Trey lifted his thighs so he could grab them and lift him off the floor. When he got Trey onto the mattress, he moaned and whined like a girl as Matt pulled his t-shirt over his head and teased his nipples with his tongue. He had to push his hips back down against the mattress as his head dipped lower and he tugged at his boxer shorts and pulled them past his thighs.</p><p>Of course, the very big difference between Trey and the meaningless fucks Matt had had in the past was that Trey wasn't a girl. And that was more apparent now than it ever had been as Matt's mouth closed around the tip of Trey's dick, sucking the head as Trey made un-godly sounds on the bed above him. Shaky fingers tangled into Matt's hair, pulling at it painfully as he took Trey deeper into his mouth. He'd never thought about sucking dick before, but he found he was enjoying it and was pretty sure that was down to the way Trey was moaning out his name.</p><p>As much as he was enjoying giving Trey head, he wasn't too keen on having him come in his mouth. After all the waiting he'd had to endure, Matt wanted Trey to come with his dick in his ass, so he pulled away and climbed back on top of him.</p><p>As they kissed Trey was mumbling against him, feeling Matt's cock under his shorts jabbing him in the stomach. “Please..” he panted between the kisses. “...you gotta...you gotta do it... you gotta...fuck me...now.”</p><p>Matt slid Trey further up the bed as he leant back and stripped himself of his own shirt and boxer shorts. He hadn't realised how hot he was, almost every inch of skin prickling with heat. He clocked Trey staring at his cock, standing proud and leaking pre-come already.</p><p>As he covered Trey's body once again, dick dangerously close to where he knew it was about to be, he brought his lips to gently place a kiss against Trey's cheek tenderly.</p><p>“You know you never needed to ask.” Matt said against him. They paused for a second, staring at each other as Trey brought his hands round to clasp behind Matt's neck again.</p><p>“I know...” he whispered.</p><p>They kissed again, so softly it made Matt's heart skip a beat and he nestled his hips between Trey's thighs, feeling his cock slide against his balls and between his ass.</p><p>“Wait!” Trey said suddenly, and for a horrifying moment, Matt thought that was it. That it was over, Trey had chickened out. “You need to...” Trey trailed off, rolling over and shuffling forward to lean over the bed, and opening the bottom drawer of his nightstand.</p><p>And then it clicked. He sure had been stupid not to think that one through, but it wasn't like he had gay sex every other day. As Trey shuffled back underneath him, he pushed Matt up so he was kneeling and covered his hand in lube.</p><p>“Hey, so this is like the gayest thing we've ever done, huh?” he said, letting out a small nervous laugh as he took Matt's cock in his wet hand and pumped his fist a few times.</p><p>Matt's mouth hung open as he stared at Trey's hand working at him. It was taking everything for him not to come in his hand right there, the cold lube and Trey's hot hand sending a shiver all the way down his spine. He clasped his fingers around Trey's wrist, stopping it from going any further, before this was over too soon.</p><p>“You ever done anything like this with another guy?” Matt breathed, letting that possessive part him have it's one moment of glory.</p><p>Trey pulled his hand from Matt's dick, which was impossibly hard and impressively big and leant back, laying flat against the bed, offering himself fully.</p><p>“You know I haven't.”</p><p>Matt watched Trey bend his knees, spreading his legs open and he took the oppurtunity to look down, glancing at the spot he was about to sink into.</p><p>“Good.” he managed to say, before positioning himself and pushing forward, the slippery tip of his cock breaching Trey's asshole as they both gasped.</p><p>“Holy shit.” Matt said, an incredulous and unexpected wave of pleasure washing over him. He leant forward, arms trembling as he propped himself up, hands resting either side of Trey's head. He pushed forward again, dick sinking deeper into that hot and unforgiving muscle.</p><p>Trey's head rolled back, moaning loudly as Matt hissed through his teeth. Every inch Trey took, felt like another burst of uncontrollable pleasure, and Matt wasn't sure how anyone was supposed to last more than ten seconds doing this.</p><p>“Does it feel good?” Matt asked, a fraction of worry at how unbelievably tight Trey was.</p><p>“Fuck, dude it feels so good...” Trey gasped.</p><p>“<em>Jesus</em>.”</p><p>Matt pulled back and slammed his hips forward, impaling Trey on the full length of him, driving all the way in, balls deep as Trey let out a choked sob. Matt did it again, and again and again until he was panting uncontrollably on top of him, holding Trey's shoulder to keep him from moving up the bed, watching him bite his lip and listening to him wailing like a porn star. Only this was better than porn because it was real, and judging by the way the sweat was dripping off Trey's forehead and sticking his hair to his skin, it felt real to him too.</p><p>He didn't think he'd felt anything better than this in all his life. Matt's stomach was somersaulting, almost sick with pleasure as he gripped Trey by his hair, if just to ground himself. He fucked him relentlessly, hips slamming against the body he was currently splitting in two. He tried not to think about how the sound of it was making him harder than he'd ever been, tried not to think about how sex had never felt this good, and probably never would again.</p><p>“I'm gonna fucking come...” Matt panted continuing to slam into Trey, almost certain he was hurting him.</p><p>But Trey just nodded, pulling Matt's face towards his as they breathed against each others lips, not even managing a kiss as Matt continued to fuck him. His dick pulsed in Trey's ass, feeling it tighten around him.</p><p>“You want me to...” Matt could hardly finish the sentence but he wanted Trey to hear it. “...come in your ass?”</p><p>“Fu-uck...ye-ah...” the air was being whipped out of him as Matt drove harder into him, forcing the bed to slam against the wall. He paused, grunting as his orgasm pulled him over the edge, shuddering as he came harder than ever, feeling it fill Trey, swearing as it spilled out onto the sheet below them, wetting his balls which were emptying between his friends thighs.</p><p>Thinking it couldn't feel any better, Trey pressed his thighs tighter around his waist, hands clasping his ass as he tugged Matt further into him, worried he might pull away now that he'd blown his load. But Matt wasn't going anywhere, and he continued fucking Trey with every last ounce of strength he had left, watching him shudder and shake and contort under him as he came loudly against his stomach.</p><p>When he was satisfied Trey could take no more and his moans subsided, Matt collapsed, breathless, dick sliding out with an obscene sound as he panted against Trey's neck.</p><p>It took them several minutes to find themselves, Trey's fingers still kneading into Matt's neck, their mess soaking against their skin and staining the bedsheets. Matt found his hand sneaking between their bodies, past Trey's now softened cock and between his legs, feeling for where his come was spilling out of his asshole. He massaged the sensitive soft spot as Trey jolted and giggled against the touch.</p><p>“Dude...are you trying to get me off again?” Trey said bringing Matt out of his little daze.</p><p>He rolled off him, hand still between Trey's legs. “I'm just curious,” Matt said honestly as he felt Trey turn onto his side and rest his head against his shoulder.</p><p>“Next time you can fuck me from behind if you like?”</p><p>Matt tilted his head to look at Trey and smiled widely. “Next time?”</p><p>Suddenly Trey looked bashful, averting his eyes away from Matt's, but Matt just pulled him up into another kiss.</p><p>After a few moments of comfortable silence whilst their heart rates dropped back to normal; Trey's arms around Matt's waist, head buried into the crook of his shoulder; he spoke.</p><p>“You really meant it, didn't you? That I never needed to ask?”</p><p>“Dude, honestly. For the amount of times I wanted to fuck you – I can guarantee you never needed to ask.”</p><p>Trey giggled against him. “For the amount of times I wanted you to, I wish I had.”</p><p>Matt pulled back a little to look down at him. “Well maybe from now on, we should just both assume that we always wanna fuck each other.”</p><p>Trey's smile widened as he looked up at him. And it was romantic as hell, but when he leaned forward to kiss him again, before he did – he whispered, “I promise I'll never leave you wanting again.”</p>
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